Update, in which there are some RL concerns

[artyartie]

I haven't made an actual post in a while, and these last two weeks have been the reason why. January 9, I was told I had been downsized and Friday the 20th would be my last day, with two weeks severance. This wasn't a position I wanted to stay in my whole life, I run a mailroom and mobility center, but needless to say, I truly enjoy the people there and I wanted to leave on my own terms and with my own timing. Only a few days before I got the news, I had found an incredible new roommate - we ended up talking for three hours that first night we met. Needless to say, along with my job, that evaporated as well.

I've had two interviews thus far, which considering the timing is very good, and I've been handling it well for the most part, but tonight when I got home, knowing I hadn't gotten any other responses to my inquiries, I felt crushed and a little hopeless, and nearly started crying. I talked to my mom, which was a huge comfort, and on my friend jen's advice, made myself the foofiest, rosiest bath ever - a rose bath bead, salts and milk bath. The water was positively pink. I feel better, though I'm not sure how these last two days will be. Thankfully, two of my schools have late deadlines, and so I won't miss those - I just don't have the time or energy to finish the UCSD application right now. I think in a way this could be a very good thing - I should have 'moved on' a long time ago. I shouldn't feel bound to a job just because I enjoy the camraderie, I shouldn't daydream about a better life and not do anything to make it happen.

So if I'm a bit...off..lately, that's why. It's been hard to read, almost impossible to write, though today before I got home, I was in very good spirits. Tonight, after doing a few more applications and sending out some overdue e-mails, I may watch Amelie, it's one of my comfort movies. Just wanted to let everyone here know, and I hope you're all doing well.

Comments

[aervir.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your job and wish you the best of luck with your interviews and your university applications! *hugs*

And Amélie is a wonderful comfort movie. :)

[artyartie.livejournal.com]

Amelie and My Neighbor Totoro are perhaps the best comfort movies ever. *hugs* Thank you for the warm fuzzy thoughts.

[xeiga.livejournal.com]

monica, this is hard news. i understand completely the feeling that it is probably for the best, time to move on, etc. but also that it would have been much easier if you had been the one to choose the time. i guess tomorrow is your last day. i'm sure it will be happy and sad - happy because you will feel the love of all your friends there, but sad because you will be leaving. what would be your ideal job now? not necessarily for the rest of your life, but at this time of transition? i will picture you doing it once you tell me. love, xena

[artyartie.livejournal.com]

Xena, that's such a beautiful way to put things. The warmth and genuine concern from everyone at the office has been almost overwhelming, and I've been very touched.

For a transition job, I'd like something creative, with good co-workers, something that made me excited to go to work in the mornings. Those are good thoughts to have.

[mayara13.livejournal.com]

(Horatio/Archie icon used for a little bit of happy)

Sorry to hear about the downsizing. At least it is a situation in which you did want to leave eventually, and you are using it as motivation to do applications and such; sounds like you're doing a good job of taking a not-so-great hand that life dealt you and turning it into a positive.

Good luck on the school applications and job interviews.

[artyartie.livejournal.com]

Horatio/Archie always brings me to a happy place. Though there was some Horatio/Archie/Bush that, erm, never mind. :)

But I have a much better outlook tonight - posted a good ad on Craigslist and e-mailed about some letters of rec, which I had been stalling on for no reason. I'm feeling more excited by things - it's going to be an interesting few months, but I think I can take the first steps now.

[merylmarie.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through a tough time. But though you're amidships, so to speak, it sounds to me like you're handling it quite well, dealing with the ups and downs philosophically. Good luck, and here's hoping your time "on shore" will be brief! :))

[artyartie.livejournal.com]

Hopefully I won't flounder on shore as much as Jack! But tonight I feel much better, much more ready to take this journey on. I'm especially energized about school again, and the arrival of Lobscouse and Spotted Dog prompted the development of a whole educational Age of Sail dinner. But thank you for the encouragement!

[chaosotter.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the bad news :( -- but best of luck with the applications; I'm sure that one or more of them will find approving eyes.