Well, today it came
Mar. 12th, 2005 06:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
artyartieAfter a little errand outing, we all walked down to get the mail. Jared pulled out an envelope for me, bearing a return address of UMN. The envelope was very slender, with only a single sheet of paper. I knew what it would say as soon as I saw it, and when I opened it, I only had to scan over a few vital sentences to realize I hadn't been accepted into the program.
Once we got back in the house, the tears I had been fighting on the walk back all came out, and all the frustration and anguish of the last few months was unable to be held back anymore. I think there are still a few to be shed, and I'll take a few days to grieve, but soon, very, very soon, I will start the search anew, beginning with UC Boulder. It will be hard to find a program to take me and give me an assistantship for the fall, but I'm hoping the spring semester of 2006 will be a more fruitful beginning. I'll apply to more schools, make sure I correspond with them frequently and visit if possible, and submit an article for publication so that it's clear I still care about the discipline. As![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wanderingfool told me, it's only an obstacle, not the end. Since I graduated college, I've felt as if I've been wandering in the desert - no map, no goal, squandering whatever promise and potential I had. Pulling myself out of the wilderness is hard, and the edge of the wasteland is still over the horizon. But now, at least I know it's there.
I can't thank all of you enough for your support, for your kind words of encouragement, your sympathetic shoulders, your cheering humor. Even if I have been wandering in the dark for a very long time, I couldn't ask for brighter stars in the sky to make the night a little less lonely.
Once we got back in the house, the tears I had been fighting on the walk back all came out, and all the frustration and anguish of the last few months was unable to be held back anymore. I think there are still a few to be shed, and I'll take a few days to grieve, but soon, very, very soon, I will start the search anew, beginning with UC Boulder. It will be hard to find a program to take me and give me an assistantship for the fall, but I'm hoping the spring semester of 2006 will be a more fruitful beginning. I'll apply to more schools, make sure I correspond with them frequently and visit if possible, and submit an article for publication so that it's clear I still care about the discipline. As
wanderingfool told me, it's only an obstacle, not the end. Since I graduated college, I've felt as if I've been wandering in the desert - no map, no goal, squandering whatever promise and potential I had. Pulling myself out of the wilderness is hard, and the edge of the wasteland is still over the horizon. But now, at least I know it's there.I can't thank all of you enough for your support, for your kind words of encouragement, your sympathetic shoulders, your cheering humor. Even if I have been wandering in the dark for a very long time, I couldn't ask for brighter stars in the sky to make the night a little less lonely.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-03-13 11:08 am (UTC)I remember when I wasn't accepted to my dream school and how crushing it was, but looking back, it ended up being the best thing that happened to me. (Well, professionally, anyway.) Rellie is right, and in a few years when you're famous, you can stick out your tongue to that school and go "Nyah, you should've accepted me!"