I am nothing if not contradiction

So, I'm a future maritime historian and all. I know a passing cannonball can kill a man without striking him and in naval movies I'm eagerly anticipating the devastation of a raking shot. So what should I put in a "care package" to myself?

Eight boxes of Celestial Seasonings tea and three Lush bath bombs. And a few Martha Grimes novels. Though since they're muder mysteries, I don't know if they fully "count."

The song and the icon seem appropriate. Surely there's some witty fellow grad student who will find the combination utterly alluring.