artyartie

There's something always disheartening about coming back from a vacation, especially when the life you're coming back to isn't one you, for the most part, like. Especially when the place you came from reminds you of all you've dreamed about and haven't done and leaves you with the taste of dried up hopes in your mouth.

Yes, I'm liberally quoting Vienna Teng.

As I've said/ranted/bemoaned many times before, I wish the next 10 months of my life could be done with - providing for strategic happy stops. Going home for Thanksgiving, helping Jen with her first Hannukah, Christmas in Taos - the being with the people I love and being happy bits. I hope I'm not treating grad school as a placebo for my unhappiness but I know my professional situation is *the* cause of it. So Friday I will plunk down the money for my GRE and the 30h I'll pay the application fee for Minnesota.

But despite the intense, if brief (coming home to friends is a very welcome thing) sadness upon returning, it was wonderful to go. Seeing Eric is always a life to my spirits, and with his friends, making his 30th birthday a happy one is a memory I'll always cherish. There's something about seeing a friend smile that makes me happy beyond words. And seeing Terry - honestly, when I hugged her once I got off the escalator I thought I would finally topple one of my friends over. I certainly won't let a year and a half go by before seeing her again - next year I'll be Christmasing in Greencastle with her and I can hardly wait.

I think, like 2003, 2005 should be a good year for me. It's just clinging to those bits of happiness before I get there.

k.t.l - Oh, I am so, so behind in writing challenges, but I will try my best! Work should *crosses fingers* calm down after tomorrow. Today I was ready to pummel some well-deserving people!